Dogs, Crab, Hats and Beats: Just Another San Francisco Day

Our first full day in San Francisco and there was much to look forward to, including brunch at the Cliff House and our fifth trip to Steve Silver’s Beach Blanket Babylon in the evening, he timing of both dictated by tradition and designed to orientate us quickly back into life in the city.

After a comfortable night’s sleep in our new apartment in the North of the Panhandle, we woke to gentle but steady March rain that left large pools at the bottom of the wooden steps leading down from the kitchen to the shared back garden.  The forecast, however, was for it to clear later in the morning to leave a cloudy but dry afternoon and evening.

The Cliff House at Ocean Beach was just a straight ten to fifteen minute drive along Fulton Street to the Pacific Ocean. We passed a verdant Golden Gate Park on our left, whilst on our right, we caught tantalising glimpses of the towers of the glorious Golden Gate Bridge looming over the dense foliage of the Presidio.

We parked several hundred yards short of the Cliff House to enable us to take in the bracing appetite-inducing air for a few minutes before we entered the bistro.  The ocean presented a turbulent picture with a swift succession of high rolling waves chasing away anyone brave or foolhardy enough to venture too close to it.

The scene was, however, still a busy one – joggers passing in either direction at varying speeds;  people , like us, strolling contentedly in a wind ravaged state of dishevelment; but most of all, dogs everywhere bathing in the freedom and exhilaration of exploring the endless expanse of beach.  We must have seen a dozen different species, from caped miniature poodles and chihuahuas and enigmatic huskies to slavering rottweilers. It is claimed that there are more dogs than babies in San Francisco, and on a morning like this, you would not doubt it.

We felt as if we were committing an act of animal cruelty by not having one of our own to exercise.  Momentarily, I contemplated hiring one for the week because, after all, this is San Francisco and anything is possible.  But pets are not allowed in the apartment – probably just as well.

We had a twenty minute wait for our table, allowing us the opportunity to check on upcoming events such as the Wednesday prix fixe dinner and jazz evenings, and look in the gift shop.  As ever we both ordered Eggs San Francisco (two poached eggs and crab on toasted sourdough bread with roasted potatoes and fruit), accompanied by the establishment’s signature warm rolls – delicious.

Feeling replete we took another longer walk in the adolescent sunshine along the beach towards the south, inspecting the periodic bonfire pits on the beach.  Crossing the Great Highway for the return to our car, we called in at the Beach Chalet to marvel at the fabulous Lucien Labaudt frescoes depicting everyday life in the thirties in the city. The brewery and restaurant on the first floor apparently have outstanding views of the ocean, a fact we need to verify before much longer.

We abandoned our planned food shopping trip as we needed time to get ready for the evening (and for me to finish my previous blog post).  The mild, partly cloudy late afternoon weather encouraged us to take the long walk to Club Fugazi in North Beach for the early evening performance of Beach Blanket Babylon.  The near hour and a half  journey took in some of the less salubrious parts of the city (Fillmore and Civic Center) before turning off Market Street to snake through Grant in the heart of Chinatown.

Sadly and inevitably, there was no shortage of vagrants around the Civic Center vicinity, though we experienced no intimidating panhandling.  I did purchase a copy of Street Sheet from a man who bore an uncanny resemblance to the queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs when she dresses as a witch and tempts Snow White with a poisoned apple.  He even sported the hunch back and hood.  But he was very friendly and appreciative of my $2 donation.

For the uninitiated, the Street Sheet is a magazine that has been published by the Coalition on Homelessness since 1989, and is designed to provide information and support programmes for homeless people in the city.  The philosophy is not dissimilar to that of The Big Issue in the UK, in providing its vendors with the opportunity to earn money for food, shelter and other necessities.

We joined an already lengthy line outside Club Fugazi around fifty minutes before showtime.  I collected our tickets from will call (box office) and joined Janet in the queue.  We were surrounded by a dozen boisterous ladies of a certain age in varying states of drunkenness attending the show as part of a bachelorette party.  Whilst we didn’t begrudge them their fun, we couldn’t help but hope that their seats were in a different part of the auditorium.

Our prayers were answered as they lurched off to the area close to the stage on the ground floor whilst we were escorted to our seats in the center balcony – our preferred area to watch the show.  Arming ourselves with a bottle of Woodbridge White Zinfandel and a large packet of pretzels we were ready to support  Snow White in her worldwide search for a prince. No sign of the queen this time – which is just as well as Snow White had a hard enough (or not as the case may be) time without her.

Once again, Beach Blanket Babylon delivered.  Although we had only been twelve months before, there was still a lot of new content along with the familiar staples.  The highlight for me was when San Francisco Giants baseball stars Buster Posey, Tim Lincecum and Brian Wilson (no, not the real ones) burst onto the stage holding the World Series trophy and singing We Are the Champions. Her Majesty the Queen’s appalled put down of the upcoming wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton was hilarious and a typical Beach Blanket Babylon satirical slant on a subject often treated too reverently, no more so than in the States.

We had decided that we would try the North Beach Restaurant for dinner for the first time, provided we could gain entry (we hadn’t booked).  The restaurant looked very busy, but on presenting ourselves at the front desk, we were whisked to the only free table for two, adjacent to the kitchen.  That may not sound the most appealing location, and it was rather cramped, but Janet found it fascinating, catching regular momentary glimpses of the frenzy behind the scenes action as the front of house staff crashed through the doors leading in and out of the kitchen.

But what of the food and service?  This was traditional Italian fine dining at its best.  My linguine with porcini mushrooms and scallops was outstanding, as was Janet’s seafood risotto – even surpassing the excellent meals we had enjoyed at the Riva Grill in South Lake Tahoe a few days before.  And our waiter was suave, attentive and witty – well, Italian.

I had wanted to visit The Beat Museum on Broadway for some time, so as the night was still young (10pm), we called in.  The museum itself had already closed for the day, but we spent some time perusing the bookshelves and other fascinating memorabilia, and I bought a couple of books I had not seen before, one the 700 page Hippie Dictionary -  A Cultural Encyclopedia of the 1960s and 1970s by John Bassett McCleary and The Beats – A Graphic History.

After a canter past the fleshpots of Broadway, we sought refuge in Vesuvio’s bar on Jack Kerouac Boulevard – yes, another first night tradition.  Once more we succeeded in claiming the only two seats available, at the bar.  After a couple of drinks we walked down Montgomery through the Financial District before boarding a number 5 MUNI bus at Market to transport us back to the apartment.

It had been a long day but a satisfying one. We were truly “at home” again in our favourite city.

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What No Golden Gate Bridge or Cable Car?

Only after we returned from our latest trip to San Francisco did it occur to me that, during the ten night stay, we had neither visited such perennial favourites as the Golden Gate Bridge, the Palace of Fine Arts or Alamo Square, nor taken a single ride on a cable car.

How can you travel nearly 6,000 miles to one of the most popular cities on earth and not take in its most iconic locations I hear you say? Surely, you are missing out on the greatest experiences it has to offer?

That is not, however, the way I see it. Rather than accept that this represents poor planning and an opportunity missed, I rather view it as a sign of our growing maturity as visitors to San Francisco. The fact is that we no longer feel the need to tick off as many of the guidebook recommendations as possible, tiring us out unnecessarily in the process.

The nature of our time spent there is increasingly taking on a different, more relaxed, you might even call it ordinary, tenor, one that more closely mirrors that of how we live at home.   Being in San Francisco has become such a familiar and regular part of our lives, somewhere we visit more often even than the places we love in our own country, that it has assumed that status of our second home, and, therefore, somewhere we neither  have to pretend to be what we are not, nor have to do what we feel we ought to do.

Choosing to stay some distance from the tourist enclaves of Union Square or Fisherman’s Wharf, as we did in Noe Valley this year, allows us to do as much, or as little, as we feel on any given day.

If all we want to do is to hang out at the apartment in the morning, watching the Bay Area news on TV whilst catching up on household chores, before strolling out to a neighbourhood café for lunch, followed by gift and food shopping and then returning to the apartment for a glass or two of wine on the outside private deck whilst watching the world go by, then so be it. We then might eat in in the evening – or we might try out one of the local restaurants. Or we might decide to take the metro downtown and eat in Chinatown or North Beach.

The point is that we are at liberty to do as we wish, not as we feel we ought to do to make the most of the trip and the not inconsiderable expense. Of course, it has been the happy conversion from hotel to apartment living over the past three years that has enabled us to do this.

And if it sounds to you that living in San Francisco has become less exciting for us, even routine, even a chore, then you could not be further from the truth. Whilst I can comfortably claim that we now feel at home in the city and, for myself in particular, probably did so before I ever visited it, I am tempted to suggest even that we have become, in a small way, San Franciscans, interested in its politics (with a small “p”), culture and, undeniably, its sport – just as we do at home.

And remember – those wonderful attractions are still a short drive or a bus or taxi ride away.

Nor is it the case that we no longer go sightseeing – far from it. On our recent trip we may have bypassed some of the more renowned locations, but we made a conscious effort to sample new, and nearly new, experiences, some of which were long overdue. These included a tour of City Hall, exploring Nob Hill, the Castro and Hyde Street Pier in depth, reliving the Summer of Love on the Flower Power Walking Tour, sunbathing in Dolores Park, and spending an afternoon in the excellent California Palace of the Legion of Honour.

Attending two Giants games at AT & T Park and a thrilling Elvis Costello concert at the Warfield, as well as eating out at more traditional restaurants such as John’s Grill (in the Maltese Falcon room) and the Daily Grill (Lefty O’Doul’s was too busy) added real richness to our stay.

And we still found time to take in several of our favourite spots – Golden Gate Park, including the Japanese Tea Garden and Stow Lake, Sunday brunch at the Cliff House, dinner at the North Beach Restaurant, Beach Blanket Babylon, Haight-Ashbury, the Ferry Building and the depressingly under threat Gold Dust Lounge.  And, of course, a spot of DSW shoe shopping for my wife in Union Square – now, heretically, resident in the former Border’s bookstore (the shoe shop, that is, not my wife – though she might like to be).

Having read the above, perhaps the vacation wasn’t quite as relaxing as I first thought!

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My San Francisco Top Ten

If you have been following my blog you’ll already have read a good deal about my love for San Francisco.  Over the past few years, several of my UK based friends have ventured out west and asked me beforehand for my top tips.  So I thought it was about time I made these universally available for any other prospective visitors.

 

I must stress at the outset that these are my “personal” favourites and, therefore, may not be to someone else’s taste.  And a handful have changed over the years. I make no apologies for inclusing some very touristy things, but others are less so. But here goes.  By the way, Conde Nast Traveler magazine readers can’t be wrong 17 years running by voting SF the best city in the USA (though I read yesterday that it was finally been ousted by Charleston, South Carolina)!

 

1. Ride the Cable Cars

An iconic SF experience.  There is nothing quite like them anywhere else in the world.  Although there are only three lines left they are the coolest way to travel.  Hurtling down those hills with one spectacular view after another in front and to the side of you is truly thrilling. Have your camera ready! And one other tip – don’t sit down inside but try to take what is called the “lead position”.  There are only two per trip (one on each side) but you can hold onto the rail and hang out into the street waving to motorists and people passing in the opposite direction on another car. Not for those with a nervous disposition though! If you can’t get the lead position, at least stand on the outside to get the best from the experience.

2. Brunch at the Cliff House

You’ve already read about this. After our first night’s sleep in the city we always head out next morning to the to the Pacific Ocean to have brunch at the Cliff House, the former centrepiece of what used to be a great seaside amusement park and elaborate public baths (though little else of it remains now).  There are two restaurants there with the most fabulous views of famous Seal Rock (I think the name speaks for itself), and miles of golden but windswept beach stretching south and past the western edge of Golden Gate Park. You may have to wait for a table but, when you do, get a seat by the big picture windows (you will be directed to one anyway) and enjoy. The Crab Eggs Benedict is to die for!

3. Painted Ladies

You will possibly already be familiar with the famous scene of the six colourful Victorian houses with the modern cityscape behind them.  The “Painted Ladies” (I don’t think I could afford one even after a triple rollover on the UK lottery!) are positioned on the southern edge of Alamo Square in the Lower Haight neighbourhood, which has the added advantage of being a perfect spot for a picnic (and dog watching!).

4. Golden Gate Park

One of the largest urban parks in the world, you could spend several days exploring the Park, but here are a couple of highlights:

a. Japanese Tea Garden
Glorious setting with beautiful trees, winding footpaths, curved bridges, still pools with enormous carp swimming in them and a massive bronze Buddha – you could almost be in Japan.  Enjoy a range of oriental teas and snacks whilst giving your feet a well earned rest.

b. California Academy of Sciences
Planetarium, rainforest, aquarium and other displays in one stunning building.  Opposite is the highly acclaimed de Young Museum.

Plenty of other attractions such as Stow Lake, the Buffalo Paddock, Dutch Windmill and the Conservatory of Flowers, and facilities to enable you to undertake every possible physical activity and sport.

5. Beach Blanket Babylon

This musical revue, performed in Club Fugazi (pictured), is the longest running in the world, another of our must do activities on every trip to SF – we never miss.  Uniquely San Franciscan, it follows Snow White (who hails from SF of course!) on her travels round the world to find the man of her dreams – she has to do this because most of the men in her native city are gay!).  She meets dozens of familiar and, to a non-US resident, perhaps some less familiar, characters and…..well, I won’t spoil it for you.  It is an hour and a half of sheer fun, fast-paced, absolutely hilarious, lots of extravagant costumes and you can have a bottle or two at your seat to supplement the mood!

6. Chinatown

The oldest, and one of the largest Chinese communities in the States, it is virtually a city within a city, a vibrant, densely packed 24 blocks crammed with gift shops, market stalls (you need a strong stomach to look too closely at some of the produce!), restaurants and even a fortune cookie making factory.  And you cannot go to SF without having at least one meal there.  We would recommend the R & G Lounge and the Great Eastern.

7. Golden Gate Bridge

If I needed any proof that these selections were not necessarily in order of favouritism it is the fact that I have left this to number seven.  You must drive it, bike it or walk it of course.  After you have done so, there is a scenic spot that the tour buses use to take their photos looking back at the bridge or across to the city.  But the stellar views of the bridge with the city and Alcatraz in the background come from crossing the main road (it is signposted from the aforementioned car park) onto the Marin Headlands.  There are several wonderful spots there, the best being just before you return to the main road.  You can’t miss it.

8. Palace of Fine Arts

Built for the 1915 Panama-Pacific Exposition, designed to showcase the remarkable recovery of the city since the great earthquake and fire nine years earlier, this remains one of the most beautiful and tranquil locations, especially at dusk when swans, geese and ducks glide serenely on the lagoon whilst young children run after balls on the perimeter.

 9. Ferry Building Marketplace

Ferry embarcation point for Oakland and Alameda, the building also houses a superb collection of upscale eateries and produce stalls, all providing the freshest ingredients.  On Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday the front – and, on the latter, the rear too – plays host to the wonderful Farmers’ Market, one of the best in the U.S.A. You may even have your lunch prepared by one of the city’s top chefs as they advertise their creations here too.

10. Haight-Ashbury

Unreconstituted and fully paid up member of the Woodstock Nation that I am I could not complete my list without recommending that you take a look at the Haight-Ashbury neighbourhood.  The centre of flower power in 1966-67 it still retains some of that independent, colourful streak and there’s some interesting shops and cafes along the main drag. The architecture of the area, principally Victorian, is very attractive too and you are only a few minutes walk from Golden Gate Park.

Bubbling under

I said at the beginning that this was my personal “best of” collection.  There are, however, plenty of other places and experiences that we enjoy greatly in the city.  I haven’t mentioned the tourist honeypot that is Fishermen’s Wharf not because I don’t like its carefree, festival atmosphere, its one of a kind gift shops, seafood restaurants and hilarious sea lion colony, just that there are places I’d rather spend my time.

And then there’s Alcatraz – no (first) visit is complete without a trip to the island just a mile and a half offshore.  Admittedly, there are thousands of tourists streaming back and forth across the bay from dawn to dusk, but there is no doubt that it is an awesome and moving experience.  Even better if you do the Alcatraz by Night tour when you are on the island at sunset, very atmospheric and quite scary.

Coit Tower, with its views and delightful steps leading up to it on all sides is another favourite, provided I have trained sufficiently for the climb! The panoramic scene from Twin Peaks is worth being run over by tour buses for too. And how could I forget the awesome, 8.4 mile long Bay Bridge which is currently getting a makeover following the part that was destroyed in the 1989 earthquake.

Neighbourhoods such as the Mission (Latino and Hispanic) and the Castro (gay capital of the world) are fascinating areas to visit with great ethnic restaurants and shopping.  And the walk from the Golden Gate Bridge along the marina back into the city is lovely and very bracing! Be prepared to do a lot of walking, the best way to get around.

 

If it’s shopping you want the city offers a diverse and eclectic experience, from gift shops providing gifts from all over the world to the designer stores of the huge Westfield Shopping Center, Bloomingdale’s and Macy’s flagship (yes, it’s in SF not NYC!) in Union Square.

Janet and I love eating out and there is no better place to do it than in SF, witness the host of awards, including that of being America’s finest dining city, it has won. There are 3,489 restaurants (last time I walked round and counted them), and you can savour every cuisine, from tacos and burritos in the Mission District, dim sum in Chinatown and crab in Fisherman’s Wharf to upscale establishments (that we couldn’t possibly afford!).

 

We love fish and seafood in particular and you can’t really go wrong with that in SF.  Although Fisherman’s Wharf gets a bad press from the food snobs we would recommend the Franciscan, Neptune’s Palace andMcCormick and Kuleto’s, all of which have fantastic views across the bay.

 

And finally…….

Whenever a survey is carried out by the tourist authorities in SF the single most important factor people cite about why they visit the city is its “atmosphere and ambience” with restaurants, scenic beauty and diversity not far behind.  And I suppose when push comes to shove (had to get a Grateful Dead quote in here somewhere), that’s what I would say too - the tolerant, friendly disposition of the locals, allied to its cultural diversity, make for a really attractive liberal, laid back atmosphere.

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Great San Franciscan Characters #11: Edsel Ford Fong

How would you feel if you walked into a restaurant this evening and were immediately greeted by the head waiter admonishing you in a broken English Chinese accent to “sit down and shut up”, then ignoring you completely or, if you were lucky, hurling the menu at you?  Oh, and don’t make the mistake of requesting an English translation of that menu if you want to avoid a further volley of vitriol. And if you are a woman, or have women in your party, keep a close eye on that waiter because he is prone to grope female customers (the only time he is likely to crack into a smile).

So how would you react?  Walk out?  Ask to speak to the manager?  Post an adverse review on Trip Advisor?  Sue the restaurant?  Punch the waiter’s lights out?   

Well, that is likely to have been your experience had you visited the Sam Wo restaurant on Washington Street, between Grant Avenue and Waverly Place, in Chinatown during the decades following the second world war.  And it is equally likely that you may have chosen to dine there in the express hope that you would be on the receiving end of such appalling service.  Indeed, being insulted at Sam Wo became as much a “must do” San Francisco experience as drinking Irish coffee at the Buena Vista Café or driving across the Golden Gate Bridge.

Your tormentor would have been Edsel Ford Fong, the “world’s rudest waiter”, who, in the words of Stephen Jay Hansen in his excellent “The Other Guide to San Francisco – or 105 Things to Do After You’ve Taken a Cable Car to Fisherman’s Wharf”, ”baits and berates male customers and shamelessly hustles every woman who enters his domain.  He’ll throw you a load of chopsticks with a brusque “Dry!” or spirit away your date to help him wait on tables.  He’s a refreshingly irreverent wit and an absolutely crazed madman”.

It’s No. 58 by the way (of the things to do that is, not a dish on the menu). 

Fong, who was born in Chinatown on 6^th May 1927, was an imposing figure measuring six foot and weighing 200 pounds, sporting a severe crew cut hairstyle and wearing both a long apron and permanent scowl.  He exploited his reputation brazenly, criticising customers’ menu choices, getting orders wrong (deliberately?), slamming food on the table and spilling it over the customers, refusing to provide knives and forks as alternatives to chopsticks, taking plates before the customer had finished eating, and reacting angrily to tips that didn’t exceed 15% (surely such an entertainer has a right to expect more?!). Unsuspecting white tourists were particularly fair game for his most patronising and scurrilous comments.

Herb Caen, the celebrated San Francisco Chronicle columnist, was a regular patron of Sam Wo and an amused advocate of Fong, repeating Edsel’s finest insults from the night before in the next morning’s edition of the newspaper.  Fong would respond by proudly waving it at anyone in the restaurant who was interested.

He died in April 1984 but his legacy lives on in many ways, not least in the occasionally churlish service still prevalent at Sam Wo today, though it lacks the panache brought to it by Fong.  A series of club-level Asian food stands at AT& T Park are named after him, and his status in the community has been visually commemorated in his inclusion in the 200 foot long, 7 foot tall “Gold Mountain” mural depicting Chinese contributions to US history, painted on the side of an apartment building in Romolo Place near the intersection of Broadway and Columbus in North Beach.

Fong also appears in several episodes of the Tales of the City books by Armistead Maupin and was played by Arsenio “Sonny Trinidad”in the ensuing miniseries.

Only in San Francisco huh?

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